I wasn’t going to write this rant, but I decided what the hell have I got to lose? This is only my viewpoint on the matter, and you can read if you want to, don’t if you don’t, but please for the love God, don’t start shit. Because I will just cleanly and simply delete you. I’m not having drama. I’m expressing my thoughts and I hope you have the ability and the maturity to respect that, if you’re not able to agree with me.
Roleplay is supposed to be a retreat, some people use it more than others, so what. Roleplay is supposed to be a place where people can write and lose themselves in characters and plotlines, and not feel the pressures of life. Theoretically, this community is perfect, is it not? I mean, people who share your interests, love writing, and will flatter you until the sun goes down because that’s the way the internet seems to work.
But no. It always seems to digress into a pile of shit and mush. You get guilt-tripped into writing things you’re not comfortable writing, you get guilt-tripped into talking to people when hey, actually, I’m not as confident as I seem: I just want to hide away with my closest friend and talk about whatever shit we talk about, I don’t want to come off as rude, but most of the time I’m just /not okay/ talking to people. Like, I don’t have anything interesting to say, so I just won’t talk. It is a vicious circle that to get to trust people you have to talk to them, and for me, to talk to them I have to trust them first. It’s not an easy life to live, and I’m sorry if I’ve ever offended you like this.
However, what I will not stand for is when people makes pointed comments, or try and force you into something. Personally, after a /lot/ of hurt in the past with roleplay, and I mean a lot. Degrade it to being young and foolish and I will fucking cut your throat. I got hurt. The important people know the story, and more importantly helped me stop hurting. This is one of the main reasons I pair with exclusively one person, sometimes one other. Because I need to be able to trust the people I pair characters with not only with my babies, but with my heart. So excuse me if I stick to my main roleplay partner. I just can’t not. I will not be guilt-tripped into being made to feel uncomfortable. I’ve had my share of pain and upset, and I’m not going to go out of my way to earn it again.
Not only roleplay, but the conversations behind the scenes, as it were. People have lives outside of here. People have issues lying far beyond the realm of anything you can imagine to think. People have e v e r y r i g h t to not want to talk to you, just as much as you have the right to want to talk to them. People have the right to say no, not right now, not in the mood. People are entitled to decline roleplay because they haven’t got the muse, don’t want to at that time, are busy doing something else, and let me tell you something: That “busy”? That is allowed to be putting someone else’s roleplay’s first. Yes, that is favouritism. It’s allowed. People are allowed to not want to roleplay, or pair, or anything, just as much as you are allowed to want to. It’s the way that you then deal with it that makes a person trusted and adored. At least in my eyes.
I’ve said a lot here. I could say a lot more, but it is 2AM and I should probably go to bed. Stop making roleplay feel like a chore, stop making me hate this place. Because it is one of my favourite things in the world. I’m not going to let anyone take that from me, and /that/ is why I avoid human interaction sometimes. Self. Fucking. Preservation.
You didn’t have to read this. If you did, bless your soul. If you’re about to comment with shit, go fuck yourself.
DEAN WINCHESTER! HOW DARE YOU DRIVE SO RECKLESSLY! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL’S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY IN HEAVEN AND IT’S ENTIRELY YOU’RE FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER WHEEL OVER THE LINE, CAS WILL TAKE YOUR KEYS! -Oh, and Sammy boy, congratulations on still being alive, your mother and I are so proud.
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